President Bush's Resignation Speech

[wabbit]

PRESIDENT BUSH'S RESIGNATION SPEECH

Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans."

I'm not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who
more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened,
and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit.

Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid
impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: there's been no
breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up
because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of
what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are
too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

1.) Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and
the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the
tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners including record
numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point
out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high

2.) Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton
Administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have
sunk in. Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has
rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these
markets.

3.) Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are
too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased
demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy
idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your
economic security.

4.) We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this "blood for oil"
crap. If I had been trading blood for oil, I would've already seized Iraq's oil
fields and let the rest of the country go to hell.

5.) And don't give me this 'Bush Lied People Died' crap either. If I were
the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted
in Iraq so they could be 'DISCOVERED. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied People
Died' crap either. If I w Let me remind you that the rest of the world
thought Saddam had the goods, same as I did. Let me also remind you that regime
change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some! guy named
' CLINTON ' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?

6.) You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during
the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models
squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists
wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to outspend and
out-tech them. That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't
care if they survive. In fact, they want to die (72 Virgins). That'd be fine,
as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of us, and you dummies
too, with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you. And the
bastards are all over the globe.

7.) You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in
the United States since September 11. But you're not! That's because you've got
no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement
and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that.

8.) When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and
difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and
difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor'. Instead, you've grown
impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history,
the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few
years, tops.

9.) Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy.
Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a
cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, damn it, you might just as well
FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the
Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News. But
even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch
American Idol. I could say more about your expectations that the government
will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city
that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.

Speaking of the hurricane, you blamed me for a slow response. Don't you know
I cannot assist until the governor requests help? I had to explain that to
her, duh! And don't blame me for the mayor down there letting a thousand buses
drown when he could have used them to evacuate. Instead, he left town. And y'all
blamed me - shame on you!!

I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own
wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I
to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house
down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully
self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm
done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky
enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

10.) Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your
new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still
have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are
smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008. So that's it! Good bye!

God bless what's left of America.

George W. Bush

*waiting for the fall-out from this one...*

[motherfunky]

I think you're brainwashed wabbit.

Video for wabbit, noone else need watch.

click

[voodoo1215]

with all due respect, even if your a fan of bush, you have to laugh at this... we all know he cant speak that well...

[wabbit]

Originally Posted by motherfunky

I think you're brainwashed wabbit.

Video for wabbit, noone else need watch.

click

I still remember Sept. 11, 2001...apparently you have forgotten July 7, 2005 and June 29, 2007

[Niccivan]

I'm gonna leave before I say something I'll regret later

[bluffmanxx]

with all due respect motherfunky, we are all brainwashed in our own way and none of us is right all the time. many of the points made in wabbit's post are quite valid.

despite the flaws of our current and previous presidents, despite all the problems that are pointed out with glee by those who's agenda is served by bad news and failure and despite the corruption, the U.S. is a far better place than most of the rest of the world.

we can choose to dwell on the negative and worry that the sky is falling or we can celebrate the positives while working to change the negatives for the better.

[Jennie20]

^^^ well said as is the original post.

Thank you for something to think about.

[JanusThePaladin]

I just appreciate seeing some pro-bush sentiment. It always lifts my heart.

[Jennie20]

There are more out there than you realize. They just don't whine all the time.